Selectively Juggling

What’s the most underrated life skill?

Underrated by whom? Me? Society in general?

I’d have to say it’s the quiet, unspoken and taken for granted life skills, like active listening and adaptability. So putting those two together I arrive at the ability to discern what is essential and what is not. What does this look like in every day life? It translates to an ability to selectively juggle life’s demands, expectations and desires. It means understanding how stress, time and other constraints can impact us, and rather than feeling overwhelmed we are able to focus on the essentials and relegate or let go (albeit temporarily) of the non-essentials. It’s about being adaptable, resilient and responsive to life’s stressors, while balancing it all with a deep knowing of your own capacity, limitations, strengths, boundaries and priorities.

Learning to selectively juggle is so underrated, yet it’s what most women, mums, working mums, parents of children with disabilities, caregivers, parents, grandparents, workers (and many others) are required to do on a daily basis.

Selectively juggling is learning to survive and navigate stress, responsibility, commitment, internal conflict and needs with the expressed needs of others. Learning to selectively juggle is also about being intuitive, intentional and intelligent. It’s about compassion for both self and others. It is a protective measure and often requires an understanding of self, metacognition and absolute boundaries.

Think of it as needing to run the marathon of life at a sprint pace. It’s the realisation of adapting life and responsibility effectively, therefore enabling the runner to maintain that gruelling pace without passing out or endangering themselves.

The runner needs to lose all the unnecessary weight (responsibilities) slowing them down and focus in on the absolute essentials. The runner also needs self discipline and deep interoception (and introspection) to enable self-directed care and rest.

The runner also needs to be mindful of the track and any risks or trip hazards. Selectively juggling requires concentrated mindfulness and presentism. It acts like an air intake valve, or steam/pressure release valve by providing a way to react and respond to expectations and demands. Demands that for what ever reason are part of your life journey.

For me it is because I am a parent to a daughter with a rare disorder who will always require support. My sons are both 2E, highly gifted but also have some additional quirks (neurodivergent)

So I need to selectively juggle their needs, my own needs, societal expectations, work, keeping a household, my relationships (husband and family) with many other competing needs. However, learning what I can and cannot put down is crucial to whether I find balance and enjoyment in life, or if I feel completely threadbare and overwhelmed.

Selectively juggling enables me to extend my energy levels, to maintain the strength, resilience and staying power needed to meet the needs of both those I love and myself.