Selectively Juggling

This question or prompt is akin to asking if I’ve got a favourite song, colour, food, place or movie. My brain just screams at me in an unbroken stream of memories. As if playing a beautiful yet equally disjointed reel of moments, memes and emotions.

I stop and think to myself “wow, how lucky I am!” Why? Because I have an abundance of moments to cherish. The problem isn’t unearthing them, but rather choosing just one to share.

Do I recount those moments in nature, where the beauty and power of Mother Nature blew me away, making me feel electrified with life and beauty? Such as standing in the frigid air of Iceland watching the spray from the waterfalls dance as if suspended in mid air. Otherworldly perfection.

Do I share the moments of when my exuberant inner child gleefully takes over the reins? Such as a few weeks ago when I found myself dancing completely uninhibited? How? Why? Where? Glad you asked! It was an all abilities disco at a local club, I was there for work, as well as taking my daughter who has a rare genetic disorder and moderate intellectual disability. She is a social butterfly and wanted to spread her disco adorned wings.

I danced like no one was watching! I danced like no one cared. I danced as if life itself pulsated through my very veins. I was the music. I was the pulse. I laughed, I engaged with others and shone bright, yet randomly so. I let loose and helped create a magical space where disability and human inclusion was honoured. There was complete social cohesion and inclusion- not a group of people with and without disabilities. I watched in awe and wonder as people tore up the dance floor. There was no alcohol to loosen the limbs, or build a false sense of confidence. It was pure stepping into the space of simply being and letting go. It was pure human spirit and exuberance. It was pure unadulterated freedom of expression and spirit.

I let go of my fear of embarrassment, I embraced my inner confident introverted extrovert and laughed so hard it hurt my stomach muscles, but my soul danced. Who knew I needed to let go so much? Who knew I needed the magic of dancing with a wonderful group of individuals with a whole plethora of differences- yes of disabilities. Who knew that letting go of expectations and allowing myself the grace to connect with myself, music, the moment and others could elicit such high definition dopamine, serotonin and oxytocin. I let go of my need to know everything, to intellectualise and be the professional. Instead, I allowed myself to feel the energy of the moment- helping create a space of acceptance and true equality. It wasn’t a case of pity and placing people with disabilities and differences on pedestals, but rather seeing and celebrating the similarities of the human experience. In that moment I let go of communicating as my highly curated and intellectual self, instead consciously choosing to allow music, dance, laughter and real connection to do its magic. We were all equals on the dance floor. I felt truly alive. I caught my daughter looking at me with an equal look of immense pride and humour in her eyes. By dancing and letting go I was modelling some important life lessons to her. However regardless of that I felt abuzz with life – I felt like one of the wealthiest people alive. I mean how often do people get to completely unmask and connect joyfully with others? In a completely encompassing and non judgmental way? Where your daggy unhinged inner disco diva can shine bright and where you get to glimpse into the world of disability and uninhibited joy? It was a gift and one that I embraced fully, tearing it open and immediately trying it on for size.

I can’t wait for the next one!