Selectively Juggling

The qualities that I most value in a friend are discernment, compassion, emotional intelligence, sincerity, humility, a great sense of humour and the ability to see me for who I am, not who they need me to be. Respect is also a key friendship building stone, as is the mortar of kindness, self-care and self-compassion.

I cherish those who know me well enough to be able to read my facial cues, the emotions in my eyes and voice. Often without saying a single word.

A sense of humour is a must – especially a dark, self-deprecating, irreverent style which often provides a healing tonic against some of the heaviness and seriousness of life. Without laughter we could drown. Laughter and joy are the Effervescence that allows light and buoyancy in, much like a candle that illuminates a darkened room.

Kindness is also an essential component of the friend mix. As is a thirst for social justice, humour rights and equality. Coupled with this is an ability to build and maintain healthy personal boundaries.

True friendships are sacred, and I am grateful for the gift they are. I have a few – some I don’t see often (due to distance), but when we do catch up its as though all time and space doesn’t exist – and we are right back where we left off. I love these low-demand, non-entitled real-friendships.

I think it is an absolute gift to be called “friend” … and as much as it is an honour to have a friend, it is an even bigger honour to “be” a friend to someone.

At the end of the day, friends are those that truly see beyond our masks. They know the “warts and all stuff” and still see the beauty and treasure. They challenge us, push us, and help us grow. And in this way, we’ve got to remember to treat ourselves as our own friend. Shining that light of love, compassion and acceptance inwards, not just outwards for others. We need to be our own friend, treating ourselves with the loyalty and respect we shower upon others.