Selectively Juggling

As I write this my mother’s body is still warm. She literally passed away less than 2 hours ago. I am not sad, as I knew this was inevitable- it was aggressive late diagnosed cancer – already well metastasised throughout her body. A case of diagnosis to death within 6 weeks. I cried upon her diagnosis- not for the fact that she would pass, but I knew that she would suffer through intense pain and discomfort. The fact that almost 8 years ago I held my father as he passed away. I faced the fear of encroaching death – the shock of witnessing my father’s body completely unfurl from the world. It was peaceful and filled with dignity.

Whereas Mum’s final hours were a struggle, impacted by my siblings’ emotional projections and denial.

So, at the end of the day – I don’t care for personal belongings as they can be replaced. I care about the people in my life who cannot be replaced.

Mum, I love you … please don’t take my lack of tears as a sign of my love for you. Your journey, your tenacious spirit and warrior strength will forever be etched within my heart and mind. How truly blessed I am to have called you ‘mum’.