Selectively Juggling

All relationships can inadvertently have a positive impact on the way I see myself, respond to stimuli and act (obviously within reason). As the 8th child of 10 children I have experienced the whole range of personality types within my immediate family, from loving and compassionate siblings to abusive, emotionally and physically violent abusers. I learnt to be hyper vigilant (yes a trauma response) and not underestimate the significance of healthy personal boundaries. So in that sense I learned something positive or functionally adaptive from the negative relationships. My dad taught me some incredibly important life lessons – he was special, with an undeniable spirit, compassion and depth. Yes, mum is important to me, but the relationship is strained at times. I love her dearly, but she’s hard work. I can’t believe I am being so open and honest here!

Now, more importantly moving on to my sisters that had (and continue to) have my back. I’ve learned self-acceptance, compassion, empathy, resilience, humour and commitment. I’ve learned that there are safe spaces in this world, and that I am worthy of love, of being loved and giving love.

Now, we can’t forget that the common denominator in every one of our relationships, is ourselves. So in that way we need to be in a good place, have a great (ok healthy will suffice) relationship with ourselves. After all the way we treat ourselves gives others precedence for them to treat us ( ok so they believe)

Also, I can’t finish this without mentioning relationships with our beloved pets. For me I had the privilege of growing up with dogs that loved and protected me. They provided a space for me to share my thoughts (unconditionally and without judgement) I would also say that we need to foster healthy relationships with our environment, with nature. This is a significant part of my life.