Selectively Juggling

This post will annoy some whilst resonating with others. However, it is as it is, and I intend to answer honestly and respectfully.

Religion: I was raised in a pretty strict catholic household. Church on Sundays, adhering to Lent and other religious customs. I went to the obligatory youth groups (but they were just partying, drinking and young teens experiencing life), And let me just say that the majority of those who went to the same youth group also went to some very exclusive Sydney private schools, who’ve gone on to some prestigious careers. Yet they were just as bogan, just as wild (if not more). Hypocrisy was rife. Even at an early age, my personal traumas and experiences made me far less willing to be a ‘sheeple’ and mindlessly follow the flock. I questioned everything, including authority. I questioned the role of religion and the concept of indoctrination. I questioned free will and choice. I would listen to the words I was reciting and realise that they held no power, sway or conviction over me. I felt disconnected and knew I didn’t adhere to the belief in a man-made god. I knew I was spiritual, but I found that connection, the sense of awe and wonder when being in nature. However, I never experienced that in a church; I only witnessed bricks and mortar. I saw hypocrisy, social injustices and a huge disparity between those who had access to money, resources and power and those who didn’t. I knew I needed to unlearn everything I had been indoctrinated into. I needed to discover whatever or whoever I resonated with. Even today, with a large number of the previous Government’s Ministry being Pentecostal, they were incredibly inhumane, thriving on policies based on social injustice, as opposed to justice. There was no evidence of their so-called ‘god’, in public policy, only indifference and privilege.

I believe in the complete separation of church and state. I believe the church should not be able to shape or influence social policies and government. This includes state-based schools. When my youngest son was 7 turning 8 years of age, he came to me in absolute tears, as though carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders. “Mum! Please can you tell the school principal I do not want to do religion (scripture) because it is against my belief. I believe in science”. Yes, granted, he’d been assessed as highly gifted at ages 5 and again at 8 and is not neurotypical, I still had to listen and respect his needs. He ended up being able to learn ethics instead of religion. Now, if that had been me as a child and I spoke up to my parents about not wanting to do scripture, they would have said, “Like bloody hell, you are doing religion whether you want to or not,” and they most probably would have made me go to confession to confess it as a sin. So, note the differences between my son and I; he has grown up with no catholic guilt or shame. He’s a highly moral and ethical person. On the other hand, I have lived with that catholic guilt and shame, internalising it.

It’s not my intention to bitch about religion, as I respect each person’s innate human rights and freedom of choice. However, I also believe that there needs to be freedom from religion, where people can embrace their inner Atheist, Agostic, Spiritualist, Pagan, Druid, or whatever it is that they identify as. I know that many millions of amazing people around the world are religious. I honestly do respect that. I also know that just as many amazing people aren’t followers. What matters to me is that a person’s morals, actions, words, and deeds align with their beliefs. It is the hypocrisy that I abhor. For example, someone close to me who had been married for eons was deeply entrenched in his church. He had a beautiful family but had also been busy spreading his love all over the internet on countless dating sites. It was preaching on Sunday and leaching every other day of the week. The hypocrisy left an acrid taste in my mouth. Further cementing my thoughts on religion.

I want to clarify that my Dad’s morals, ethics, choices and actions definitely aligned with his religious beliefs. He was a huge proponent of social justice, human rights and disability rights. He was an active volunteer, doing charitable work. However, he knew for it to be genuinely charitable, it was meant to be private, respecting the personal dignity of the person in need. He never needed to big-note himself to the world; he simply gave generously because he had gone without too many times to count. He did this because he was a good person, not because of religion. He was compassionate and empathetic because of how life had knocked him down time and time again. He gave because he could, and it made him feel better.

Still, having said that, as much as it pains my mum to see, I do not adhere to any of her religious traditions. Just because I no longer believe hasn’t altered the fact that I am supportive, reliable and loyal. I am a good moral person and have pursued a career reflective of this. I just now do all those things without the confusion of indoctrinated guilt or shame. Mother nature is my chapel, my space to go and reflect, ground and be. When I connect with a person, I don’t see the labels, the things that are often used to separate us. Instead, I see the person, their heart, mind, soul and actions. After all, actions speak far louder than words, and anyone can ‘pray it away’. It’s a whole other game to actually make changes (think gun violence). Give me the perfectly imperfect, the fabulously flawed any day over those hypocrites.