I’m not one for regrets, for wishing that I could stop the hands of time. Not one for ripping open the fabric of time, reaching in and recreating what has already been. That moment no longer exists. I don’t find that type of thinking particularly productive or positive. Am I able to reflect on past events, relationships and situations, learning from them? Sure. Are there glimpses of sadness, of lost opportunities and muted moments? Most definitely! However, life is pretty much like a deeply intricate and nuanced spiders web, and as you can imagine it is impossible to undo a single intrinsically woven silk-strand of web without fundamentally causing . It would be something like a scene out of the Matrix. I’d be responsible for causing some kind of glitch on the system. Yeah, I know Im taking this question quite literal, and serious? As if somehow believing that this is possible. Perhaps I have watched way too many sci-fi fantasy movies and dramas about human-world simulations, time travel and theoretical physics. Isn’t the mind and imagination a thing of real beauty? Wild, hey?
Instead of wishing I could go back, I’ve learned to interpret and curate the lessons, memories and moments that I have had – committing them to my precious long term memory banks. I’m like an archivist who has painstakingly shifted through endless reams of data, information and noise in order to locate meaning and purpose. Instead of undoing, I focus on fortifying.
Life is a finely nuanced cacophony of energy, magical moments, stuff, people, noise, sounds, exchanges, emotion and meaning. Each moment is contextualised and framed by the person that I am at the given time. The lens I view life through in the actual moment, often varies significantly from that of the lens I use introspectively and retrospectively. The person that I am when I am experiencing those moments for the first time, is different from the one sitting hear writing this. So, even if there was a year or age that I thought I would like to revisit and redo, my perception may change when I actually get to re-experience it again. I may be bitterly disappointed in a very anti-climatic sense. As we know we attach our current view , mood, understanding, sensibilities and meaning when rsembereing past events. So I feel that if I apply this logic, I would be better off focusing on each new present moment, and making the best of those, and not focusing on going back and reliving or redoing some other time, that was a different version of myself. I have no desire to go back in time, forward in time. My desire is to embrace each moment, as that is why it is called the present – it is a gift with incredible potential.
Selectively Juggling 
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