Selectively Juggling

Life is like an ocean, sometimes gentle and calm waters prevail. Whilst other times it’s like a wild frenzied storm unleashes itself, stirring up tumultuous tides. The only constant denominator in my life, is me, so therefore I need the emotional intelligence, skills and insight to be able to roll with the tides, go with the flow. My even keel, groundedness, and ability for deep introspection and reflective practice allows me to move in unison with the changing tides. When traumatic events, like losing my dad occur, it would be easy to lose myself and succumb to the swirling maelstrom. Yet, I don’t and I haven’t, rather I reflect, process and grow from the significant events.

Life is a cacophony of experiences, a shifting kaleidoscope of feelings, thoughts, emotions and experiences. I look at myself as being like a beautifully unique tapestry, through time, lived experiences, loss and various traumas the tapestry has invariably grown threadbare in places. Instead of rendering it useless, the threadbare patches, help to reframe and reshape, giving new light, colour and patternation. Changed, but intrinsically still the same.

Having deep esoterical and philosophical leanings, also enables me to process life’s significant events. I’m able to rotate the events in my mind, looking at them from deeply nuanced and faceted angles. Each new angle can help either shed light or cast a shadow. Ultimately these events change me, challenge me, and allow me the opportunity to learn, to adapt and become a better version of myself.

At the end of the day, I’ve grown more compassionate of self and others. I’m not as static, but much more malleable. I see myself as a resilient, somewhat gnarly and knotted tree, somewhat twisted through time and experience. Yet my roots remain strong and deep, enabling me to endure life’s storms and seasonal changes. More importantly in the process I’ve learned to be a refuge, shelter and home to and for my loved ones. I’ve grown more flexible, open-minded and non-judgemental, challenging my own prejudices, indoctrinated thoughts, which basically translates to ‘unlearning’ all those paradigms and narratives that no longer hold true, but rather thwart my ability to flow and grow with and through compassion, strength and intuition.