Selectively Juggling

Grudge? No! However, after a childhood and young adulthood of narcissistic abuse, of being subjected to sustained and systematic gaslighting I needed to remove myself from my sister’s toxic overreach. This was made evident at my Dad’s funeral where her need for attention and control dwarfed everything and everyone, including my deceased father. I wish her well, and hope she is living a good life, however at this moment in time it’s necessary that our paths are not interwoven or connected. It’s not a grudge, it is in fact adult self-actualisation, the realisation of self-love and self-compassion and the need for healthy detachment and deep deep healing. I’m not prepared to be gaslit and abused as someone’s emotional yo-yo. Especially after I’d dedicated so much of my life to them. Not too mention an older sibling is meant to love and protect their younger siblings, not be a source of abuse and trauma. Yes we can forgive, but we should never forget. This isn’t holding a grudge, but understanding that self-preservation and healthy boundaries are essential. A grudge would also imply holding on to negative energy and reliving issues, obsessing over the person and events. I, have gotten on with my life, trying to be the best version of myself and giving to those who aren’t abusive. Life is too short, and we are all too valuable to give ourselves and our power away.