Selectively Juggling

Growing up, mum would lovingly wash, cut and cook to perfection hot delicious morsels of potato goodness, aka hot chips. She would couple them with a cup of sweet tea, fresh bread and the generous smearing of tomato sauce. So now, when I’m craving comfort food, I’ll meticulously cut and slice potatoes, cooking them 3 times to create perfect thrice-cooked golden delights. To this, I’ll make a seasoning of smoked paprika, garlic powder, vegan spiced mix, Himalayan pink rock salt and fresh coarse black pepper. Being dairy free, I’ll add a steaming cup of delicious almond milk coffee, minus the sugar, as I hate sweet tea or coffee. That’s not to say I don’t love some good dark chocolate. And being gluten-free, I’ll add either a gorgeous homemade gluten-free caraway seeded bread roll or a toasted vegan-cheese tortilla. I love baking as much through necessity as with love and purpose. Baking is my love language; as I write this, my kitchen is filled with the aroma of fresh Medjool dates and banana muffins (gluten-free & vegan). My sons especially love these.

My other comfort foods include homemade avocado sushi with ginger & sesame (we all adore sushi), fresh homemade spicy pumpkin soup cooked with coconut cream, and lots of Asian spices. I also love my homemade bagels with vegan cream cheese, beetroot and salad. Don’t worry beetroot seems to be an Australian thing. There are other comfort foods like gluten-free avocado bagels or toast. I love hummus with fresh celery and carrots., as it transports me to vivid memories of Dubai, of warm air wafting through desertscapes. I adore freshly made juices, even lasting 2 months on a juice fast. I love making smoothies of almond milk, Medjool dates, bananas and frozen berries. Now that is pure comfort. This is my daughter’s comfort food, and I take note when she craves it, as it will generally imply she needs some extra TLC.

When I’m missing my dad (he passed exactly 5 years ago), I’ll whip up batches of gluten-free seeded bread, where the smell of caraway seeds fills the air. He loved Rye, and this helps me to elicit a strong feeling of connection and closeness to his memory. When I’m feeling stuck (like hello Covid) and am desperate to travel but can’t, I’ll add some freshly grated nutmeg to my food as it takes me right back to the last time I was in France, or I’ll whip up a paella as it reminds me of amazing times spent in Spain. As if the spices and smells are an instant teleportation device leading me back through time and space.

Satay noodles and Vietnamese rice paper rolls are all comfort foods to me, especially when smothered in fresh herbs like mint. Mint is pure comfort to me, taking me right back to early childhood and memories of helping my dad make his incredible mint sauce. I was the one tasked with picking fresh mint. I have photo-realistic memories of the sensations of collecting the mint, the incredible smells, touch and feel of it in my small hands. It was a job I took seriously. The memories of pride. as I picked the best mint, then the joy of watching Dad turn it into something magical. MMM … I’m salivating.

I think that my vivid memory, my ability to recall memories as if they are photographs or videos, helps to create an emotional memory response to certain foods. Conversely, the same can be said for food aversions. Food, food preparation and sharing are all wonderful ways to elicit comfort. I have never taken for granted just how lucky I am, for even though I had an impoverished childhood, my parents always managed to put food on the table. Not junk-based fast food, but soul-warming, nutritious real food. My Dad could turn the humble tomato into an incredible soup that soothed my body, mind and spirit. My Mum could turn a simple potato not only into an incredibly tasty meal but an expression of love and attention.

So depending on which type of comfort I am seeking, say to soothe the pangs of grief from losing dad, I will bake caraway seeded bread or make some tomato soup. If I am feeling a little off, I’ll make the hot chips, conjuring up my Mum’s love. If I am feeling reminiscent, I might throw together something that reminds me of those times, say a platter of hummus and fresh veggies, or homemade sushi. I might whip up satay noodles or fresh juice.

The one common theme is that I connect comfort food with the actual processes of making the food myself. I don’t derive the same sense of connection and comfort from buying food prepared by others. The food preparation and the processes are all part of the comfort. I believe it is part of the creative process of taking various ingredients and making something special, something familiar and comforting. Perhaps it’s part of reliving the original time I got to savour not only the tastes but the company and love surrounding them. It may also be due to recreating the sensations around the food, the smells, the tastes and the anticipation.